The Gift That No One Sees

Today I almost allowed someone to steal my joy. Well, if the truth be known…maybe they were successful for a short time, but I after a good cry and much prayer, I got over it managed to enjoy the rest of my day.

Have you ever been nice to someone, truly cared about them, tried to show them godly love the best way you knew how and no matter what you do, they hurt you time and time again? What do you do? How do you not allow yourself to continuously get hurt?

My preacher did a sermon a couple of months ago and I remember him saying, “hurting people hurt others”. When this happened today…this was the first thing that popped into my head…well, I take that back…the first thing that popped in my head came from the little red creature with horns that sometimes sits on my shoulder.

You know the one I’m talking about!

The one that says, they are hateful people, wash your hands of them, tell everyone how badly they hurt you, give’em a dose of their own medicine.

BUT THEN...

The tears started falling like always & thankfully so did the bad creature from my shoulder, and that’s when I remembered what my preacher had said. ”Hurting people hurt others.” As I sat there at my desk, I started wishing I could take away all their hurt and pain so they wouldn’t hurt anymore and maybe just maybe they wouldn’t hurt me anymore.

My thoughts then took me to the cross, when Jesus said, “Lord forgive them for they know not what they do.” I want to think that these people don't either but as Ricky Mokel would say....”you don’t know!”

Do you know that every time they do something that hurts me, I give them a gift??? It is the gift that no one sees.

What is forgiveness?

Ephesians 4:32 tells us to be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you.

Forgiveness...It is the decision to let go of any grudges or any attempt to get even. God is very clear that vengeance is His and His alone. Forgiveness is a decision of the will in which you choose to not hold anything against someone. The other person does not deserve to be forgiven but you give it as a gift. It can be a very difficult choice especially when you have been hurt deeply. It is also a decision that you might need to make over and over again. You might even need to forgive the same person many times in one day. But it is always the best decision. Otherwise you can get trapped in bitterness and carry around anger with you for months or years. And that bitterness can trap you and destroy you.

Forgiveness does not mean that we forget. It’s almost impossible to forget, especially when is happens over and over. Forgiveness can include distance however. Through Christian counseling, I've learned that we sometimes have to allow some space between us and the people who hurt us, so they don’t continue to hurt us. A boundary can be helpful. It protects both people until they are ready to be closer again.

I have had to set a few boundaries with some people, and it has not been easy for me. I have been accused of not caring about anyone but myself, damaging my children, and even being unchristian-like. Today let me know that I need to set some more boundaries because I can't keep getting hurt and be okay with it. Ultimately, I know that forgiveness is not optional. God says we must forgive people just as Christ has forgiven us. This is for our own good and it also glorifies God too.